Trip to Disney World
We survived our five day trip to Florida. We got home last night at 2 AM after several long (but on-time) plane rides. If you know me, you know that I don't like hot weather, traveling, and lots of people (actually, we could probably shorten that to "people" in general). Florida has all those things. That being said, the weather was very pleasant (warm, but never hot), and the crowds, I'm told, are much less than during the peak times during the busy season. The kids had a great time and there were no tears or fits the entire trip, even though Lincoln got so worn out every day that we had to trek back to the hotel so that he could get in a nap while Zia went swimming.
We drove to Billings the night before because we had an early flight.
All through this trip Zia made friends with kids where ever she went, particularly when she went swimming. These girls were her best friends until she made new best friends the next day. We're not sure where she got this skill. Not from either of us.
How come vacations always start out like this?
Early morning in Salt Lake.
So excited.
We arrived at the resort in time for the kids to swim after dinner.
Day One: Magic Kingdom.
The Buzz Lightyear ride.
I thought I was totally killing it on this ride (a shooting gallery that keeps track of your points) after I maxed out the score. But later in the day I saw two old ladies walking around with buttons saying that they also scored the maximum points on the ride, so...must not be much of an achievement.
Asto-Orbiter
I have no idea why the Tomorrowland Speedway is still there. It's old. It's smelly. But for some reason we took pictures there, so maybe that's why.
Here are some things I noticed during my visit.
- The rides are very short, the lines can be long. Like 2-4 minutes short. That wouldn't be a big deal, but people will wait up to an hour to ride. This is the case with the new(er) Toy Story Mania ride in Hollywood Studios. We waited 30 minutes for that one, by far the longest the waited for any ride, and it ended up being a few minutes long. Otherwise, the waits weren't bad at all and we used the Fastpass tickets for the lengthy ones, so no biggie. But anyway, really short rides. Like Pirates of Caribbean. I remember that one from my last visit when I was twelve. What I didn't remember is that it's only a couple of minutes long. If you blink, you'd miss it.
Part of the TS Mania line.
- Video screens have replaced a lot of the animatronics. Rides like Seas with Nemo, Journey to Imagination (which, sadly, is completely different than the version I remember from twenty years ago), and Toy Story Mania basically are just you driving by video screens in glorified carnival carts. Even the Mexico ride in Epcot is mostly just video panels now. Lame.
- Sometimes you can walk a long ways in Disney before you hear someone speaking in English. Everyone seems to be from Europe or from South America. And you know how everyone always claims that Americans are such bastards when they travel overseas? Yeah, you guys act the same way when you come to America.
- There are a lot of fat people at Disney. Maybe there are just a lot of fat people period. If you want to make money in the future, invest in scooters. Just like the movie Wall-E. There are numerous other blogs about this.
Haunted Mansion was my favorite one, but the kids were NOT so sure, and wouldn't go on it with me again.
Another aspect of Disney World is the character meet and greet. Generally you will be in a line with a bunch of unruly, entitled Brazilians. And then the lady before you will take 40 pictures of her kids with the character with her cellphone. And then she'll make the professional photographer take pictures of HER with her cellphone. Unbelievable. Happened every day.
This is how Pluto signs autographs.
The secret's out: The guy playing Peter Pan is gay.
Oh, let's just throw in a couple of fat people pictures. I wish I would have taken more.
So, this guy had an Angry Birds shirt on. I stalked him for a couple of minutes, but I could never get a picture of the front of him. But man. It was something else.
Day Two: Hollywood Studios.
We ended up going to Hollywood Studios for two days. The kids really liked the Star Tours ride. Zia was selected as the Rebel spy during one of our rides, and Amber picked for another. So, I guess we have a lot of rebel spies in our family.
Kids waiting for Star Tours.
Why buy a shirt when you can just pose with it?
The Indiana Jones stunt show was exactly the same as it was when I saw it twenty years ago. Exactly.
What the crowd looks like for that show.
Lincoln swimming at the hotel. He only comes up for just barely long enough to catch his breath. He's a lifeguard's worst nightmare because he always looks like he's drowning.
See that douche bag behind Lincoln? His wife used an iphone to check stats on a basketball game and relayed every single point, foul and substitution across the water to him for 20 minutes while he ignored his son.
We rode buses to Downtown Disney because Lincoln really wanted to go to the Lego store there. Never mind that you can buy Legos at Walmart back at home. He HAD to go there. Downtown Disney is sort of a shopping area, but no one is actually shopping. They're all just walking around. Tons of people. We got some Legos and got out of there. 60 minutes of bus riding for that.
They don't look worn out, do they?
Some resort architecture.
Zia enjoying a desert that she can paint and eat too.
Day Three: Epcot
Out of all the parks, Epcot was a little disappointing to me. Rides like Journey to Imagination used to be great. Now it sucks. Horizons is gone. Spaceship Earth was never very exciting even though it looks exciting. Luckily, there are some good new rides like Soarin' and Test Track to fill the gap, but it still feels a bit dated. And I never did like the World Showcase. So much walking. So little payoff.
Zia took this picture of a Hannah Montana prop. I don't know anything about it.
Somewhere in Epcot you can taste pop from all over the world. Beverly was BAD.
Big lemons.
A napkin.
We ate at a restaurant with a fish tank.
Dessert with bloody skid mark.
Really bummed this picture isn't better. Because man, my face was funny.
If only there was a black metal church burning ride.
Spot Amber!
Day Four: Animal Kingdom.
AK is the newest park. It is really beautiful and the amount of detail that Disney has put into the villages and buildings is incredible. I didn't do a very good job of photographing that sadly. AK also has some great thrill rides like Dinosaur and Expedition Everest.
Lincoln went on Dinosaur. When the light can back on and the ride stopped, I looked at him: His eyes were shut tight. I don't think he saw many dinosaurs!
AK also has a retro dinosaur carnival style park. This ride sort of made me sick.
You can pet goats at AK.
And they've got llamas!
We watched some kind of pig get spayed in the operating theater. Pretty neat, actually.
Some images of the details in the buildings.
AK has an animal safari ride with real trucks. Very impressive and fun.
We did talk Zia into riding Expedition Everest (AK's rollercoaster). Here she is being nervous about it.
Walked back to Epcot for the fireworks and dinner.
Day Five: Went back to Hollywood Studios and flew home. A very long day.
Overall, we had a very fun time. Disney is what it is. It may be evil in some ways, but the amount of thought that they've put into every aspect of the parks is amazing. Also amazing is that everyone who visits there comes away feeling like they've really experienced all sorts of things and happened upon special events. I know it's all an engineered facade, but they've really got it down pat...
Three Holidays in One
Maybe four holidays? Or five?
I don't feel like I've taken very many pictures lately. It's winter. So there are three things to take pictures of: 1) winter 2) the kids and 3) the cat.
Zia turned 8. She had a cake and friends over. I would put pictures of her friends up but I don't have legal permission.
Halloween happened. It was raining. And once again, we were utterly confused by when and where people in this area trick or treat. Seriously, we have never seen one of Zia's friends out trick or treating. Did I mention that people out here are weird?
Community center carnival.
Amber hit a deer on the way home from work one night. It totaled the VW, a car we bought in Fort Collins 10 years ago. We really liked that car and took a lot of fun trips in it. It was sort of like our child before we had children in that sort of way that childless people personify dogs and cats and vehicles. Sadly, the deer damaged a lot of parts on the engine as well as pretty much everything on the front end of the car and the windshield.
The deer didn't live. Big surprise.
So, we had a buy a new car. We spent a day in Billings and bought a used Subuaru. It wasn't really what Amber wanted, but she didn't really know what she wanted. Here is an obligatory new car picture. I should note that we no longer personify our cars. They're just cars.
Our new garage for the new car is somewhat finished. After months of delays, the contractor finally got started, but of course, by then winter also got started. So, now we have a garage that we can park in, but it doesn't have any masonry work or siding yet. I don't know when that is going to happen. It might be awhile.
And then it was Thanksgiving, one of my least favorite holidays. But, you know, they're all starting to run together.
We drove to Red Lodge to have Thanksgiving with my family. The snow pile was played upon.
Lincoln always gets photographed with his Thanksgiving dinner. This is because when he was 1 he really liked his Thanksgiving meal and now he's doomed to repeat that photograph foreveeeeeeerrrrr.
We went skiing. It's very expensive to take the kids skiing. Putting them in lessons might buy you 4 or 5 runs max, and then you have to pick them up. It's 10:30. They're tired and cold, and the day is over. They had fun though but skiing is sure not like it used to be.
This girl is Lincoln's instructor. I do not know her. For completion's sake let's call her Beth.
GUESS WHAT?!?! NOW IS THE TIME WHEN I POST PICTURES OF THE CAT! Do you know the Adele song "Rumor has it"? The kids sing that one "Booooooomer Booooooomer Boooooooomer has it, Booooooomer has it."
Lounging:
Hunting:
Being annoying:
The school had their school concert. At the risk of sounding awful, I'll go ahead and say that it one of my least favorite events of the season. Also, these children are appearing without legal consent.
Moving targets.
Ballet recital came next.
OH I FORGOT. MORE BOOMER.
Being weird:
There are only two colors to the landscape right now. Blue (snow and sky) and a yellowy tan color that I like to think of as beer color.
Christmas was next.
Lincoln got a lot of Legos. We literally spent days building Legos. For his birthday, he probably does not need more Legos.
Santa installed a climbing rope in the ceiling of the living room, using a hole that already existed in the ceiling. Pretty much everyone who sees this looks at us like we're nuts. But it has been a lot of fun for her, particularly when she realized she didn't have to stop at climbing: she could swing on it as well.
Lincoln had a pretty bad cold for Christmas this year. He has never been well for Christmas.
Amber's cake with some cupcake mushrooms. I think this is after Zia had already destroyed it.
We had to reach pretty deep into our bag of tricks to survive Christmas break. This is when Wyoming is really hurting for anything to do besides eating, drinking and watching TV. We went bowling. That was fun. But it hurt my back. That made me remember why I don't really bowl anymore. Also, I suck. Did you know that I bowled in a league for 2 or 3 years every Saturday in North Dakota? I did.
We drove to my parents again for New Years. I guess New Years is technically the fourth holiday, but I don't really count it because I don't have a very good relationship with it. I don't like staying up late.
The kids wanted to go to the waterpark in Billings on the way to Red Lodge so we did that. I'm going to go ahead and leave out the picture I took of the fat lady with ripples of back fat bulging out of the window in her swimsuit, but here's a picture of Lincoln.
We skiied. Amber took Zia up in the afternoon too. Zia even did the terrain park. She was very proud that she did a jump and made it over the obstacle boxes without falling (no pictures of this sadly).
Morning light in the upper lodge. Did you know that one of the chairs at RL fell off with two people in it last week? It's true. They both lived. I think. I better check.
And the snow pile got a workout again. There is a lot of snow in Red Lodge this year.
And now I am caught up. One last picture of Lincoln! Happy holidays!
Kansas, Hiking, Jackson
In that order. I didn't realize I had so many pictures saved up. Sometimes I don't think I can keep track of organizing all this stuff. Also, I'm doing this while a sugared-up Lincoln is trying to kill me with a sword. It's like being in a warzone.
We went to Kansas back in, uh, September sometime. It was a lot of traveling and Lincoln vomited all over the backseat of the rental van in Kansas City and it smelled like puke all week. My mom traveled with us and we visited my granddad and family on that side for a few days at the Lake of the Ozarks, and then drove down to SE Kansas to visit my Dad's mom and uncle.
Denver Airport.
Fishing for crappie at the lake.
Everybody caught some.
The kids especially like tormenting the minnows with their godlike hands.
Going on a boat ride with cousin Parker.
We ate at Paradise.
Them fishes eat a lot of dog food.
Lots of places to shop in the Ozarks, but it's all just junk. Seems like there used to be unique souvenirs, but now it's all just the same stuff from China.
These are pretty amazingly sweet though, aren't they?
While we were in the Ozarks we visited Bagnell Dam, and the Dogpatch area - somewhere I used to visit when I was a kid. It's all kind of worn-down now.
I'm meltiiiinnnnng.
We also visited Ha Ha Tonka, a nearby State Park that features the ruins of a "castle" (a gigantic house that burned down in the 40s), a natural spring, and lots of neat karst rock formations including small caves and arches.
In Parsons, we visited Grandma. She would probably be mad to know I took this picture.
We visited Big Brutus, a giant "shovel" stranded in the middle of the prairie, its job stripping the overburden for coal mining completed. You used to be able to climb way up to the top of the beam, 15 stories up, but that's closed off now due to "insurance restrictions." Heh.
Lincoln loved sitting in the driver's seat.
Zia climbs a tree.
Back at home, Lincoln gives Boomer some love.
Grape leaves along the Tongue River.
For some reason, Ian, Danlin, Amber and I decided to hike into the Box Canyon again this year. We apparently didn't learn our lesson last year. But this time it was much, much cooler and better weather for hiking. It was still exhausting. Danlin fell in the river, and Amber fell off some rocks, but nobody died, so it was Mission Completion. We caught about the same amount of fish as last year. Boomer was ecstatic.
If you look closely, you can see my head steaming in this picture.
Long way down.
Long way up.
I went to the pumpkin patch with Lincoln's preschool. I was assigned an extra child.
And as if this wasn't already enough, Amber and I went to Jackson for our anniversary. We drove through Yellowstone, and then spent 2 days in Grand Teton. The roads were kind of sketchy 30 miles from our house. We felt like we were driving into winter, and that's not really something you want to do.
But it cleared up.
The Shoshone valley near Cody is about as pretty as any of the areas we drove through.
Smokey the Bear welcomed us to Yellowstone. Very exciting.
Pretty much everything can kill you in Yellowstone. EVERYTHING. There are warnings everywhere. All the warnings convinced me that the average American has never even set foot outside of his car, or encountered exotic objects like trees before. Mostly, I liked the warnings that had graphic pictures.
When people drive through Yellowstone, they drive really slowly. You never know, you might see a deer! I think the speed limit through the park is 35, and we averaged a healthy 55, passing more cars than we probably pass in a year. I can't imagine what Yellowstone is like during the summer season (we were there 2 weeks before it closed entirely). Oh, and park rangers really can stop you for speeding. I learned that years ago.
The area of Yellowstone we drove through was scenic, but not exceptionally so. Trees, burnt trees, a big lake, some mountains. Pretty, but not much different than what we look at all the time. We're snobs like that. We saw an elk, some mooses, lots of chipmunks, a bald eagle. Animals that don't require photographing.
We walked to Lone Star Geyser, a geyser that erupts about every 3 hours.
(Geysers are apparently worth photographing.)
We arrived at Old Faithful minutes before it erupted. Amber watched it from the gift shop. Haha. This is as close as I got. Did you know that Old Faithful has its own highway interchange? It does.
The Tetons are awesome-looking. But since they're set on a straight-line parallel to most of the major roads in the park, you get a real overdose of that same great view. So prepare yourself.
Jackson is a very strange place. A lot of Wyomingites don't "claim" Jackson as a part of the state. It's more of an annex of California. Even though it's right in the middle of some of the most beautiful scenery in the US, it's not very Wyoming-like at all. It has 3 sushi restaurants. It's full of fancy shops that are painfully, insanely expensive. It also has a McDonalds, but it's "McDonalds of Jackson." The grocery store is super nice, and has a sushicounter with 3 sushi chefs, as well as a 3-stationed frozen yogurt machine, just in case 3 people want frozen yogurt at the same time.
It also has the most dangerous Dairy Queen drive-through of all time. It deserves a warning sign.
If you have millions of dollars and want to outfit your Wyoming vacation home, you can buy all sorts of expensive stuff in Jackson. Like a sabertooth tiger skull for $50,000.
If you're on a budget, how about a giant gourd sloppily painted with a bald eagle for $800?
Everything has fur on it. People still wear Uggs non-ironically in Jackson, too.
Gag gifts for your friends back in New York.
See this barn? It's everywhere. I predict that even I will take a picture of it here in a bit.
Yeah, not so much.
Jackson is powered by a huge labor force of Hispanic folks. So much so that going into the Kmart (which looks fancy on the outside, but on the inside it's just another dumpy Kmart) at 9 at night feels like walking into a foreign country. Very strange. Even the lost cat signs are in Spanish.
Here's me under one of the famous elk antler arches. Which remind me giant piles of clipped toenails.
We spent the next two days hiking in Grand Teton. It's a strange place. Giant spikey mountains, and a big, broad, flat glacial valley devoid of, well, almost anything. It doesn't feel like the wilderness. It probably does if you hike farther up into the mountains than we did.
This is near Teton Science School, where Amber went in 8th grade.
Um, was that there when we walked by earlier?
Gros Ventre slide area.
There's the barn! Actually, it's not the same one. But it's right next door.
In Jackson, we went to the Ripley's Believe it Or Not. It was enjoyable. Here's a bear about to get token out.
Really creepy, overgrown hillside cemetery in Jackson near Snow King.
When it was time to go home, we drove back through YNP, even though it had snowed the night before. Yeah, tourists from South Carolina don't tend to drive very fast when the roads are like this.
We stopped at the Mud Volcano area. What's not to love about Mud Volcanos? Seriously, I know most of us would get into fistfights to defend the honor of Mud Volcanos.
JIMMY! NOOOOOOOOOO!
Amber had some eel rolls. From Jackson.
This may be the longest blog ever. There's only one last picture. I think. I went to a punk show at Scotty's Skate Kastle. It looked like this.
And thus ends the Fall Megablog.
